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@patterfloof@meow.social · Joined ⁨Aug⁩ ⁨2018⁩

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Elizabeth :therian: :cascadia:@Elizafox@social.treehouse.systems

Suggested New GNOME Bug Report Wording, or We’re GNOME and You’re Not.

GNOME Version 48:

Please stop filing bug reports. This is our desktop. We designed it, we built it, and we know what you actually want better than you do. If there are some features you think might be missing, if the desktop isn’t quite as effective as you imagine it could be, GOOD. That means you’re finally getting it. See Figure 1.

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            !            -            !
            !           { }           !
            !           | |           !
            !           | |           !
            !        .-.! !.-.        !
            !      .-!  ! !  !.-.     !
            !      ! !       !  ;     !
            !      \           ;      !
            !       \         ;       !
            !        !       :        !
            !        !       |        !
            !        |       |        !
            !                         !
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                  Figure 1.

Forget about your silly workflow. Let’s take a look at some of the wonderful design decisions of the GNOME desktop.

  1. Customisation. We removed most of it. Users don’t know what they want anyway. Every preference you don’t have is one less preference you can set incorrectly. If you somehow discover dconf, that’s your own fault. See Figure 1.
  2. Desktop Icons. Gone. They encourage attachment to files, which distracts from the beauty of empty whitespace. If you require desktop icons for your workflow, your workflow is invalid. See Figure 1.
  3. Menus. Menus contain too many choices. Choices make users unhappy. Therefore we replaced them with a single button containing three dots. If the option you need isn’t behind the three dots, that’s because you shouldn’t be doing it. See Figure 1.
  4. System Tray Icons. We deleted those too. Applications should not be running in the background. If they are, they should stop. If they insist on existing, they can minimise into your imagination. See Figure 1.
  5. Title Bars. Wasteful. We merged them with the toolbar to save precious vertical pixels so you can admire more empty margins. If your application now has three rows of buttons instead of two, that’s an application problem, not ours. We talked to our HIG designers, and they think like we do: See Figure 1.
  6. Themes. We made the one theme. It’s perfect. Applications are expected to resemble each other. If yours doesn’t, that’s because the application developer made poor life choices. If you install a custom theme and it breaks something, congratulations, you’ve voided your warranty. We told theme authors to see Figure 1 a long time ago.
  7. Extensions. We support extensions. Right up until the next release, at which point they explode. This encourages extension authors to remain engaged with the community. We told extension authors to see Figure 1 too.
  8. Workflow. If your existing workflow no longer functions after an update, that’s because it wasn’t the correct workflow. The new workflow has fewer clicks once you’ve completely retrained your muscle memory. If you need your workflow to work, see Figure 1.
  9. Buttons. We removed the minimise button because nobody uses it. We know this because we asked ourselves. We also removed the maximise button because windows should not become too excited. If you really need either button, you clearly require spiritual guidance. See Figure 1.
  10. Preferences. We moved them. Then we renamed them. Then we merged them into another dialogue. Finally we removed them because the correct value was obvious. If you need to change a setting, see Figure 1.
  11. Bug Reports. Before filing one, please ask yourself whether the problem is actually your expectations. Nine times out of ten, it is. The remaining case is an enhancement request, which is already WONTFIX. Our bug triage people think like we do: see Figure 1.

In conclusion, your desktop is now simpler, cleaner, and more opinionated than before. If this prevents you from getting work done, perhaps your work was unnecessarily complicated. Love GNOME or install KDE, but please stop asking for minimise buttons.