posted in Asklemmy

How do you deal with getting rid of old stuff that just sits there wasting space but still has residual emotional value?

My father is sorting items in his huge houses, 2 of them, to sell, give away or dump as a hopefully previous step to downsizing, which took me to think about how much stuff of my childhood sits there wasting space, stuff I could try to sell or give away, because after my parents die I don’t plan to move back there: I’ve made my life elsewhere and down there there are no decent jobs.

The items: A huge collection of 300 or so music CDs and 50 vinyl records I bought between ages 15 and 25 of my favorite bands back then. I don’t believe I’d get even 2 bucks a piece, not even for the vinyls (no special editions), my library with 250 or so books I bought and received as presents during my childhood, including a complete encyclopedia, clothes that are already too small for my physique.

I moved out 10 years ago and I’ve rarely visited. Those items are more something I remember than something I need: I digitized the music library years ago, the books I like I can get online or I already have them, I could save some clothes that fit and toss the rest, I could also use my old bed and study table, because those things are actually useful. I don’t even have a CD or a vinyl player (my father does).

I know that stuff is only stuff and when I die, it will all remain here on earth and most probably be sold or destroyed, but I I just can’t bring myself to throw them away, even though I know it’s the logical choice as a previous step to sell that old house.

Moving the stuff in with me makes me a hoarder, so no. Plus I don’t have that much space. And what would I move the stuff in with me for? It would sit there in boxes wasting space.

What worked for you?

enPage

Replying to an earlier post

For me, it’s about understanding the value having it provides. It’s ok to have something for sentimental reasons, but it just having been present in your life doesn’t make it meaningful. If you keep a piece of clothing you can’t or won’t wear again, what does having it do? My dad passed and I kept one of his favorite flannel shirts because it evokes so many memories for me. But it’d have been silly for me to have kept all of his socks just because he wore them.

Replying to an earlier post

Go through it, keep what is truly sir use and definitely try to sell or donate what you can, especially physical media since even without a lot of monetary value those are items that typically aren’t being made any more so are of a finite number. There are those of us that like collecting physical media and have the space to store and enjoy it so helping it get a second life is a better choice than just dumping it in a landfill to rot (almost literally) forever.

Otherwise the key is to relish the nostalgia of going through it but don’t let it color your decisions on what to keep too much. It’s okay to hold on to some things that truly matter to you just for sentimental reasons, but you shouldn’t try to keep it all. My wife and I each have a plastic tote in our basement of keepsakes, we try to limit sentimental things to just that one tote each to help keep it manageable.

Replying to an earlier post

I would go through regularly and part with an item that held least significance. And repeat monthly till I pared it down to a small collection.

Donate books to literacy place, or drop them randomly in the little libraries (if your city supports those citizen made structures).

CDs are a dollar at the thrift store, but if you have an artists set you might get a fan on Craigslist or kijiji or marketplace that wants them.

Replying to an earlier post

The word “worked” is doing a lot of heavy lifting here.

If your goal is to justify throwing things away, there are whole self help ecosystems built to help you to toss it all, from self transformation regimens to grief processing and everything in between. Find one you like and read, listen and engage about it on social media till you believe what it says then just throw all your stuff out.

You could also not do that and listen to your CDs and records, read your old books and either store your old clothes to give to your kids or use them as patch material for clothes that do fit.

It’s a question of forgetting your past or integrating it into your present.

Replying to an earlier post

I also digitize what I can. Then I separate what I actively use from the rest, separate those items into categories, pick out one or two (or three) of my favorites in each category, and donate the rest to a thrift store in hopes someone else can make better use of them. Still not foolproof though, on the shelf next to me is a keyboard and bin of cables that I haven’t touched in ages.

Replying to an earlier post

Go through the counter argument, what would it take to keep it?

From what you’re saying, you’ll likely need to rent a storage facility for that. They’ll advertise low rates initially, but I’d expect to pay over $100 a month unless you constantly move the stuff across different storage facilities. Then, if you move out of the area, you’ll need to bring this with you.

Once you have a cost to keep it, it will be far easier to justify getting rid of it.

Replying to an earlier post

Might be from Marie Kondo, or not, but I use a 1 year rule. Have I used this in the past year? If not I get rid of it, knowing I probably will never use it or enjoy it again, I’m happy to leave it in my memory, to stay or fade naturally. Hardest were gifts at first, by fear of offending the person that offered it, until I realised I don’t always remember what I offer others, and I wouldn’t be offended. Same for the first years of kids’ “artworks”, took pictures then trashed them