The 2029 Slate Wagon, Vaporware Edition

Something from 20 years ago

I guess I assumed we were talking new or newer cars.

Oh, we definitely were. If you don’t want something connected to the cloud, your options are:

• buy from a very small company
• build yourself something, kitcar style
• buy something from 20 years ago

Everything else is a rolling data vacuum

I feel the same way about the new cars which is why I’m still driving a 2012. I genuinely have no idea what I would get if I wanted something newer.

I’m rocking a 2006 VW Polo. Thing’s a beast. Almost no power, endless tiny things wrong, but I got pushed off the road by a cement pump truck…and I mean…yeah it was “written off” but only because popping the dents and repainting it would be more than it’s value. Most of what’s gone wrong I’ve been able to fix myself for less than £100, and going to my friend’s place to use his garage and big jack.

Yeah, I love my 2015 Sonic.

I’ve had to pick a new car in the last year. I chose a 2012. fuck new cars. fuck their headlights. fuck their spying. fuck their complexity. fuck their non-ownership. fuck their cost. fuck their bloated sizes. fuck their blind spots. fuck their driver assistance that interferes with my control of the vehicle. fuck their touchscreens that are absolutely useless in sunlight.

Yep… that’s what I was talking about