woodenghost [comrade/them]

I also agree that funerals are for the living. Plus, if he’s very old, maybe you don’t need to treat him like an adult. Some people age in reverse and become a bit like little children again. I know a doctor who loves children and wanted to become a pediatrician first, but chose to become a geriatrician instead, because she found she loves the elderly for the same reasons she loves children and wants to care for them. Plus, they tend to have better manners, at least on average. But nevermind all the drama about the funeral, it’s probably not even about the funeral and more about some vague fears and coping strategies. Maybe you can address the underlying issues directly. Or not. More importantly, is there anything you would like to tell him(for your own sake), while he’s still here?

You’re not that strange. It’s natural to want to share your material possessions, your knowledge and your experiences. But know, that there are different options for that than only the traditional patriarchal family: friends, comrades, roommates, neighbours. You could join a political org, volunteer at a local action like a shelter, a library, a museum, a community theater, a community kitchen. Join anything that you have any appreciation for and be ready to not just share your wisdom, but learn from others too. There are people out there who aren’t drunk jerks and even if they have some bad takes, they probably have some wisdom to teach you, if you listen closely.

Persian food, especially the rice dishes.