Women are asexual creatures.

That’s suspicious

Big lemmy doesnt want you to see the truth

Government members actually don’t care about people and just want to be elected to get more money and power. Yeah, I know it’s a silly one.

Can you imagine how much shit we would have to put up with if that one were true?

There’s so much evidence to support this, it’s basically a fact at this point.

I doubt whether the members of ZZ Top have real beards.

They stole Frank Beard’s beard.

Lottery is a scam to catch time travelers

It’s a tax on the present to support the future

I’m printing this and put on the casino’s exit lol

Lmao. I love this

Not even really a theory but a historically verifiable strategy used by the automakers, but Jaywalking was invented by car companies to put the blame on cyclists and pedestrians for getting killed by cars so that they could monopolize use of the public roads for cars and here we are over 100yrs later and vehicle collisions are like the number 2 leading cause of death in the country behind gun violence.

At least the gun manufacturers didn’t steal public space out from under the feet of everyone.

heh.

Schools might disagree

In Star Wars Episode 1, George intentionally included many hints that something weird was happening with Jar Jar, but the public backlash against the character caused a rewrite of Episodes 2 and 3, including the specific introduction of Count Dooku. Jar Jar was supposed to be revealed as a Sith.

Oh, I remember this one. I kind of buy it.

The shows like x-files, men in black (and others that I can’t think of from the top of my head) are actually documentaries, but no one would believe them, so they’re presented as fictional entertainment.

Never give up, never surrender!

The romans had circuitry. Maybe not electric powered, but water powered? Oh you bet. If they could rig up an entire senate to rotate like a lazy suzan by manufacturing ball bearings and hooking it up to advanced gearing powered by a river…?

Plus they knew how to work with lead metal, so other conductive metals werent completely out of reach, and they were masters of mass-scale uniform production. Their road structures and aquaducts barely even scratch the surface of what their engineers could do

My cat actually likes me

JFK’s head spontaneously exploded with no explanation. The government quickly found some local bum, framed him and then shot him before he could say anything, to manufacture the idea of an assassination, because the alternative—that anyone’s head could spontaneously explode at any time for no reason—would cause mass panic and a collapse of the economy.

Have a look at this episode of PBS Frontline: Who was Lee Harvey Oswald?

Mine is that the term “conspiracy theo[rist/ry]” was made up by intelligence agencies to hide the shady things they were doing to the public, like testing torture methods, drugs and experimental weapons on impoverished communities

Ye that’s true.

Belief in alien UFOs is deliberately promoted as it makes a good cover for experimental government aircraft.

The NSA has backdoors in most computer chipsets.

Alex Jones is a false flag crisis actor designed to discredit anyone revealing genuine conspiracies.

Did did he fuck her?

She fucked him let’s be serious

Moon is hollow

And reptilians live inside. The colony has survived for millions of years through ritual cannibalism. NASA found out on Apollo 17, that’s why they never went back.

This one’s great because science says this is true but none of us can go out there and check.

Obama’s mom was CIA.

UFOs are real, and non human intelligence is here with us on earth, but those are both distractions from the much more consequential secrets: spacetime, and everything that exists within it, is a product of consciousness. Our consciousness continues after death. Telepathy, telekinesis, remote viewing, and precognition are possible. Human science is controlled and new discoveries in public academia are suppressed to prevent us from learning the truth.

Would you trust some of these yahoos with telekinesis?

That everything gonna be okay someday.

The fluoride in the water is secretly pushed by the sugar industry. Without it, their products would be rotting teeth faster than ever and people would buy less sweets as a result.

Damn that’s a good one. I stay drinking tap water.

Good tap water usually has some fluoride in it.

Slavery never went away, it was disguised as jobs for the working class. And now the capital class has been sold the wet dream of slavery 3.0 in the form of AI replacing not just the average job, but the average person themselves. No sick days, no complaints. That’s why AI is being shoved into everything and the climate and economy are on the brink of destruction, to get rid of us for good.

This isn’t a conspiracy theory, let alone a silly one.

The YellowKey Vulnerability was an engineered backdoor for the CIA/FBI/NSA.

Woah. Like a day zero things like the stuxnet?

Ya, it was fairly big news a couple months ago. MS was apparently dicking around the researcher (NightmareEclipse) who uncovered it and he went nuclear and dropped that one along with a few others in rapid succession.

Ok, so in the TV show Stargate SG-1, the Stargate program is an Air Force initiative to use an ancient alien device to send teams through a wormhole to planets in distant reaches of the galaxy where they interact with aliens and humans from other worlds.

One of those humans, having become a refugee on Earth after losing a war to aliens, creates a television show which essentially “files off the serial numbers” of the actual Stargate program.

When the Air Force learns about this, they allow the show to remain on the air, because that way if the story of the Stargate program ever leaks, anyone who hears it will dismiss it as the ravings of a fanboy who got too into the show, or of a conspiracy theory who can’t tell fiction from reality.

So the first part is, I think that the US Government could totally be using this to hide something really wild. Maybe there actually is an Upside Down (“oh really? Like in Stranger Things? Suuuure.”) or maybe aliens really do exist (“bro, you’ve been watching too much X-Files.”) and maybe not only do they exist but they’ve formed this whole secret subculture on Earth (“dude, that’s literally just the premise of Men In Black.”).

But see, now we run into a truly Heller-esque bit of circular logic, because with me even saying that, now the government can just say, “come on buddy, that’s just the plot of season 5 episode 12 of a TV show you’re on the record as a fan of.”

This also helps to explain why Trump and his cadre hasn’t blabbed about aliens in the past decade. They were told about the secret government program, but then they were also told exactly which TV shows and movies have been made to discredit the truth, and exactly how the conspiracy would make them look like laughable idiots if they revealed the truth.

tl;dr: superheroes are real, they’re way more like The Avengers than you’d think, they have an airtight plan to discredit anyone who leaks it, and “Wormhole X-treme!” is part of the conspiracy

I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream isn’t a science fiction story, that’s gonna happen to some people. Telepathy is also real.

What about TADC?

I believed in reptilians / illuminati until I got diagnosed with schizophrenia :/

Interesting to note that people that believe in conspiracy theories typically believe in more than one.

purported AI datacenters are not AI datacenters or at least designed to not be only for AI

i think in some ways this is a good thing. for example you can rent low resource compute for as low as $0.10/month . its a global fiercely competitive market these days.

The core of the earth is a giant magnet. Really. It’s an iron core, and that’s one of the main things that gave The Earth a magnetic field to protect us against part of the deadly laser in the sky.

I don’t think it would have enough magnetic pull to take pens and lighters from the surface though. Also how does that account for all the missing socks I hear about? I don’t think that cotton/polyester blends are magnetic.

The model they used in that initial trailer for the Sonic the Hedgehog movie was a marketing stunt and they always planned to replace it.

Damn that’s a great one