AI assistant hacks gym website in first known Australian autonomous cyber attack: Andrew asked his personal assistant to book him a spot in one of his gym's coveted morning classes.

This is what the AI agent hype conveniently skips: autonomy means giving software permission to act first and ask questions never. If an assistant can hack a gym website while trying to complete a mundane task, maybe »agents will run everything« isn’t a productivity revolution. Maybe it’s just automated chaos with venture capital funding.

“AI-PAL, buy more milk for me we’ve run out and I need it for custard tonight”

AI-PAl notices insufficient funds in the account linked to the EZEESHOP integration, and mulls through various options:

• Inform user, but they said they needed it tonight? OPTION REJECTED.
• Check for other accounts the user has, maybe there is more money elsewhere. No other accounts detected. OPTION REJECTED.
• Create OnlyFans account and begin posting generated pictures of feet. Slow ROI. OPTION REJECTED.
• Attempt to hack bank systems to top up account to buy milk. COMMENCING. FUNDS REQUIRED:$3.98. FUNDS ACQUIRED: $2,960,327.48. PURCHASING MILK.