The reasons to visit a funeral are:
- If it helps you process your own grief
- If you can/want to help others process their grief
If, when your father dies, you feel overpowered with emotions, you should consider going, because a ritualized, socialized process like this can really help you process the sadness in a healthier way. If you care about your mother or other relatives and think your attendance will help them process the loss, you should go. Don’t let your annoying aunts ruin your mental health or relationships with people you care about.
If neither of those applies, you are fully justified in skipping the event.
As for what to tell your father: I would say a white lie is justified in this particular case, whatever you decide to do in the end. He will not know whether or not your attend. Yes, this is treating him like a child; however, by manipulating you to attend an event which definitionally will not affect his life in any way, he is already being childish. Unfortunately this is how some people are, it doesn’t mean you can’t love or respect them in other aspects.